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Mr. Rant

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O! K! L! A! [05 May 2006|09:48am]
[ mood | bitchy ]

The search for the perfect contact mic continues today at Petosa's where I'm sure we will be greeted with contempt for wanting to amp a violin. A asked me if many rock bands have used electric violin. I didn't have the heart to mention David Cross' disasterous turn in King Crimson. GEEK ALERT!!

The Reverse album continues to gain steam under it's own momentum. The latest track "You Look Tired" is being slapped together very quickly, but it's taking time away from my planned Rogers and Hammerstein medley.

Speaking of Reverse, Reverse Audio is looking at another tight turn-around time for the Greek language CD I am doing for my biggest client, Chow Foods. As usual, our production meeting went long, fuled by beer and pizza. The only thing I can clearly read from my notes is this cryptic entry: And then Phillip of Macedonia says, "That's no sheep, that's my wife!"

Is anybody diggin' on the Film School EP? Does anybody care?

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Kidney Bingos [04 May 2006|09:06am]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Sadly, Miles Davis doesn't really work at 7:30 in the morning. Well, I suppose it would if you were up all night drinking and smoking. I was supposed to go pick-up shopping with A for her violin, but guess who was up all night drinking and smoking? I'm sure Kind of Blue would make more sense to her this morning than it did to me.

Anyway the shopping trip has been moved to noon, giving me time to plan Summer and Fall quarters at Shoreline to complete my degree in nano-technology.

I have to choose between going to Music Theory every weekday morning for most of the summer or Digital Audio one day a week for three hours. I think I'd rather go every morning in the summer and brave the winter one day a week. Never mind about how I'm going to pay for all this. I'm thinking of selling a kidney. Can you do that on-line?

15 comments|post comment

all bold, all the time... [27 Apr 2006|03:32pm]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY jetgirl23!!!
2 comments|post comment

[16 Apr 2006|10:31am]
HE HAS RISEN!!!
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New Year, same old denial. [08 Jan 2006|02:38pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

As always, my new year's resolution is to quit smoking. And, as always I'm sticking to it.

Christmas Presents for myself:
Siouxsie and the Banshees The Scream re-issue CD -
A long time coming, and worth the wait despite it's $35 price tag.

The Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy DVD -
"What if I told you I'm not really from Guillford?"

Brian Eno Ambient 4: On Land -
Already a favorite. May replace Sleeps with Fishes in survival kit.

My Wife -
In her devil-red "victory pants."

1 comment|post comment

Every 28 Days [18 Oct 2005|12:46am]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Just a couple of things:

1. Congratulations to GRAVE DANGER for their 3rd place 2005 season victory. The team and I have a few things in common: We look good in red, and we have the same captain.

2. johnnydarco, and I have finished the first draft of our coming-of-age Breakfast Club in space screenplay, and it's pretty awsome.

3. RIP Charles Rocket. Suicide, my ass! You know Larry David has something to do with this.

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And Another Thing... [30 Jul 2005|01:32pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

I know I never post anymore, but think of it this way: You've been able to avoid a lot of the "filler" that you used to see here clogging up your f-list with my day to day crap. I suspect that in the last six months you have been spared the following:

Several amusing anecdotes about the cat being gassy.
Really weird things my parents have bought at street fairs
A delicious salt cod recipe.
Pictures of my cock.
My personal feelings about Tom Cruise. Would he think that I am a jerk?
Confusion over a co-worker who comes in everyday even on his day off and then looks at me funny if I say "see you tomorrow!"
Poetry about rivers and kittens.
Selections from my Burning Man 2004 journal.
Gee, another CD re-issue of a record that "saved my life." That's really interesting. YAWN!
Publicly asking for forgiveness for being grumpy-drunk.
Meandering diatribe about why they should stop making Batman films. Yeah, I know the new one is supposed to be OK, but would it kill you raise the bar a little?
People and their fucking eggs. Jesus.

9 comments|post comment

Dear World Bank, [13 Jun 2005|11:06am]
[ mood | bitchy ]

What with Live 8 coming up, my wife and I thought we'd drop you a line about another debt relief problem, namely Ours.

This year alone Mrs. Rant and I will have accumulated several thousand dollars in debt, and while this may not equal the billions of dollars that several of these African nations owe you, we urge you to consider this: Would an extra 10 thousand dollars thrown our way really break you?

It's not like we have to re-build our infrastructure, or create a civil service sector. We have hot and cold running water in our apartment and several grocery stores and fine restaurants in our neighborhood! You wouldn't have to worry about bribing governments, or getting elected officials assassinated. Heck, we think Kissinger's okay! Innocent until proven guilty right?!

As you read this letter I know what you're thinking at this point, but we're already one step ahead of you! Several weeks ago I contacted the remaining members of Pink Floyd
and asked them to re-unite and do a benefit for us. While they insisted that drummer Nick Mason was alive and well, they wouldn't be doing any benefit shows in the near future for "individuals." A cryptic call from someone claiming to be Nick Mason confirmed for us that he's not dead. Nick added that although he's available for weddings, he wouldn't be doing any benefits without the other guys. He also suggested we save our money, or get better paying jobs. What a jerk!

Mrs. Rant and I don't have rock star money, nor do we have the resources of a small developing nation that has agreed to hold supervised elections in exchange for interest-free foreign aid. What we have is a huge amount of debt that we accumulated simply by trying to live our lives as good, healthy, American consumers.

Won't you help? Bob geldof would, if he wasn't so busy with that other thing.

Love,

- The Rants

6 comments|post comment

Operation Spaghetti Freedom [06 Apr 2005|12:40pm]
Now that Italy is weak we should liberate them from their Catholic oppressors. Who's with me?
14 comments|post comment

Spring FWD [03 Apr 2005|11:00pm]
To be honest I don't really miss the hour anyway. I feel that I'm better off without it, and I'm glad that it brought me to a challenging place where I would have to do without the extra 60 minutes of sleep, or whatever else I would have done. Truth be told, it was a bit of a relief not having to do anything.

Now more than ever I am convinced that it didn't really want to be around for me to include it in my daily routine. It could give a shit that I needed the extra time to read the new New Yorker or that chapter on Can in The Ambient Century. Heck, I've got a DVD I could watch, but I guess it just couldn't be bothered with doing something so boring with me.

I'm really glad it left. I'm glad it's out of my life.

In fact, when it comes crawling back on it's hands and knees in the fall, I may just tell it to fuck off.

I know I say it every year, but this time I'm really going to do it.

Really.
2 comments|post comment

[31 Mar 2005|12:06am]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Believe me, if I had something to say I would say it.

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[28 Mar 2005|10:45am]
Happy Birthday johnnydarco!!!
6 comments|post comment

Why I Haven't Been Posting on LJ Lately: [07 Mar 2005|09:32am]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Still distraught over Brad and Jennifer Split.
This uncontrollable cough.
Busy touring schedule from record deal I won on television.
Portions of my life too dirty for younger LJ readers.
Worried about the bird flu taking me out.
Designing new Verizon logo has me in meetings all day.
Not allowed to type after curfew.
Consumed by chicken or egg paradox of "are lesbians bad tippers because they get bad service, or do we give them bad service because they're lesbians?" *
My Space. Ever heard of it? losers!
frictionless control surface hard to get a hold of.
A smart blazer and freshly pressed slacks. That's all I need.
Giving up much easier and immediately satisfying.
Spring rolls! Spring rolls! Spring rolls! I can't stop eating spring rolls!
Recording time and temperature every half hour in weather journal more time consuming than I expected.
Everything I do merely interferes with all-whiskey diet.
Hard to type and knit at same time.
Computers kind of like the devil.
Holding out for free elections.
Pigeon coop on roof needs constant cleaning.


* mostly lesbians have told me that lesbians don't tip. It's been my experience that straight white guys who go out in baseball caps and sweat pants don't tip either, so I think it's more related to wardrobe than sexuality.

9 comments|post comment

How to Get Good Service: [28 Feb 2005|10:57am]
Sit where you are seated: The idea is to seat you in the server's section who has the least active tables. This means you get better service! By all means, if you HAVE to have THAT booth RIGHT NOW, fine, but you may get less than stellar service if your server is being worked-over by a section full of hippies with food allergies and Europeans.

We live in a crazy world where not every restaurant takes American Express: I know you've been fooled by their marketing into thinking that you are in some sort of exclusive club and the minute you flash your AMEX, dancing girls appear with buckets of champagne and Robert De Niro offers to pay for your parking. If you have chosen a business that doesn't take AMEX, Mr. De Niro will not be visiting you. Asking your server what cards they take will save YOU time and trouble when you want to pay the bill. Some take AMEX, some don't. Nobody takes Diners Club.

Order things at the same time: Asking your server to bring you something everytime he or she comes near the table drastically effects service to other tables and by extension, yours. If you don't understand how that works maybe you should stick with the drive-thru at Wendy's. Believe me, everyone will be happier.

Communicate: Making eye contact and speaking to your server as if the person is actually standing there attempting to assist you in having a pleasant dining experience is the first key to a great dinner out. Speaking to the menu, or your wife doesn't really help you since neither the menu, the wall, or your wife will be rushing back to the kitchen to make your food, or mix your drinks. The server is your only mouthpiece to the kitchen, the bar, the desert tray, etc. You might want to look up and say hello.
13 comments|post comment

[07 Feb 2005|09:35am]
[ mood | bitchy ]

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

This is the sound of your Uncle Rant roaring back to after a full, undisturbed five hours of sleep.

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[14 Jan 2005|10:33am]
Happy Birthday to fellow Canadian goosehammer !!!
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The End Times. Brought to You by Oxy-Clean! [14 Jan 2005|10:25am]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Last night I saw a commercial for an infomercial.

Have the networks just given up? I know cable is so much better it's embarrassing, but come on!

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Like I could forget? [10 Jan 2005|11:35am]
A Happy Birthday to mad genius eriktrips!!!

Go buy The Arcade Fire CD and pretend I gave it to you.

He Heh.

Sorry.
2 comments|post comment

Confidential to Seattle: [10 Jan 2005|09:58am]
[ mood | bitchy ]

A) The quarter-inch of snow is gone. You can stop driving like idiots. You're like a bunch of teenagers that drink non-alcaholic beer and act "wasted."

B) Your laptop is annoying in the respect that you want everyone to see that you have one. Bored with your cell phone are we?

C) You will never learn to be a world-class poker player in a place that has a salad bar and books Loverboy.

D) I won't be a snotty server if you give up the snotty barista routine. You pour coffee. Neither of us can afford to be poopy about it.

4 comments|post comment

Now Will He Stop Bitching? [08 Jan 2005|04:07pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Three Imaginary Boys has been remastered with extra disc/extra tracks.

That's what I'm talking about.

4 comments|post comment

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